The World Cup and Prince William. Oh God.

Where is my sense of humour in all of this? Who knows?

We should have demanded input and assistance from the top British execs who work for McDonald's, Coca Cola, Adidas, Visa, Castrol, Emirates, Sony, Budweiser, Hyundai, Continental etc to formulate and present our pitch.

These men and women know how to take the World Cup and FIFA by the balls and block out any other form of advertising. They understand the ruthlessness of business and the Wire-esque Maryland, backstreet, horrific nature of an illegal dog eat dog contest.

What on earth do we English think Prince William and the two Davids bring to the world apart from entertainment? They are like hairy lap-dancers in suits. Memorable? More like 'get drunk and forget you ever went'.

In this country, we put finance and commerce above all else, we decimate the mood of the nation and the public's skills, expertise and livelihoods with the hope that the private sector will pick up the slack. Yet it did not occur to get the people who broker and sustain these dodgy deals of limited branding bomardment, to take control and do whatever it takes.

How naive can England be to think that our banking system is any different to FIFA? We live in a culture where the amount of rungs we have to go through to speak to or complain about the level of service we get from energy companies, banks, mobile phone contracts, and even flat-pack furniture manufacturers is staggering. Do we not know that the world of business is designed to keep the public as far away from decision makers as possible? Have we not learnt this?

We live in an age where the sale is the spoon full of sugar, but the aftercare is the teaspoon of marmite. If we want to embrace the savage and greedy methods of sports event management, then why not look at why all the owners of these Premier League stadia can charge an arm and leg for a slice of pizza and a coke? Because the mugs will pay!!!!

So, let the people who know the devil personally take us to hell, whilst serving us drinks. We don't need the political and royal equivalent of the Deputy Head and Headmaster trying to enthuse when all the pupils are counting the minutes until break time.

I mean how bloody stupid can we be? It still suggests that our imperialist and traditionalist past in some minds, is 'better' than fully accepting the classless quest for ‘optimal’ wealth, which relies on morally devoid decision making. The England bid team believed that our way of life was all we needed to sell - to help make people who supposedly do things well, do them a bit better than everyone else with the FIFA committee's vote? They will look at us and say, "you don't need this, don't waste our time, and which part of fuck off don't you understand?"

Who is the genius/mug who kept the woolen ball rolling, while they managed to pull their crazy vision of the future over most of our eyes? That person needs to be President of a Willy Wonka government. It is all wrong and we got suckered in to believing in and finding out about our standing on this planet.

The hope is we can look internally and stop trying to sell our bloody souls with a royal stamp on them (in the words of Anchorman), so you know they're good?

Spurs defeat

I have bitten my lip so far this season trying not to blow my top or vent. Especially as all the mail and comments through the summer and this season have become more circumspect and possibly even optimistic. In fact I tried for ages not to write this blog as it tends to be quite negative at times.

However, after Saturday, I feel I need to rage. Arsenal are so basic in their errors that I am amazed we are where we are.

Having read what Bendtner had to say about his return from injury, (feeling so good and the strongest he has felt in years), looking at RVP and his declaration of intent, you have to conclude that the training at the club is undemanding and conducted by football hippies. For these players to generate this impression of themselves and share with the media how 'good' they feel, yet on the pitch look like Graeme Souness purchases is borderline mentalist.

The problem with this team is mainly Wenger and his warped sense of 'infrastructure'. Arsenal are like a stately home with a dodgy central heating. How much are you going to spend on plumbers, before you decide to rip it all out and start again.

Rosicky is proving to be a waste of space and should be slapped for giving the ball away that lead to the goal. Theo can only play if the score is nil-nil or we are winning and the opposition play a high line looking for a goal. to bring him on when Spurs are dominating and expect him to find space is also mentalist. It is a lack of nous and I would add, a Quixotic belief in rewarding failure until it succeeds.

However, more worryingly (and I am not sure how to phrase this), I can see us winning the league and spending nothing. Not improving and Wenger wallowing in his vindication. The standard of the opposition is poor but they will never stand still and allow that to continue.

Arsenal will continue to be the girl or boy of your dreams who you snog on the dance floor and find them snogging someone else when returning with a drink for them.

A more patient person than me would be able to research and discover whether is it just us who commit suicide collectively in public. Against Liverpool in the champions league. Against Spurs for the 4-4, against Chelsea, Man U, and Barcelona. Against Shahktar, these games all involve us beating ourselves. Closing out a game is near enough impossible with this team.

The basic error excuse is shocking. Can you imagine Gordon Ramsey saying "sorry mate, we ran out of oil for your chips so we cooked them in water".

There is no fight, because the fighters in the team are Tyson-esque mavericks who don't really believe in team play. If you think about how many past and present players are pissed off by the likes of Van Persie, Arsharvin, Nasri, Bendtner, Adebayor, Gallas, Cole, Henry, how can you achieve team spirit with these people? They are hated by their own team mates.

Chelsea's full side look like they enjoy defending together. So do Man U. We look like we reluctantly accept that it is something we have to do, but we won't dwell on it.
I say sell RVP, Rosicky, Clichy, one of the goal keepers, Bendtner, and fine, promote from within. Bank the money and wait til the summer. They bring us nothing and we can cope without them. All we do is cope. Our league is the top 4 and we keep coming near the bottom. Only relegation from this will bring about change but no one is good enough to stop us from achieving this. Wenger is clever enough to identify this. It is he, not the team who lack genuine ambition.

Is it any surprise that the most telling action of this football deity, is to render the position of captain as useless. It would be like a modern day Jesus slagging off his disciples in the Media.

Imagine that, I have almost suggested that I fear winning the league and believe we can, only to make us worse. My head is a mess trying to comprehend the mess we are presented with. Sport is more than statistics when he feels like it. But he can hide behind them any time to point to his achievements.

He is the master of spin. DJ Wenger has him an MC girlfriend and his last few records have been shit.

Enough.

New Season - New Reason

Why oh why have I not written in so long? In the main, it has to do with the feeling of ambivalence to team purchases, injuries and the continued need to make sense and form opinions about things I know nothing about.

I mean, why do we sit around, spouting off all kinds of possible theories and ideas when we have no idea what goes on in the inner circle of a football club? In fact, even the players have no idea - they are designed that way in order not to rock the boat. It is the likes of Robinho, Adebayor, Ashley Cole and Mascherano who are able to create a bonsai tsunami in their (dis)respected clubs as they stare blankly while fans and employees blame them for the brainless mess in their wake. I have just referred to the sea twice in that ridiculous scenario.

Why do I not include Fabregas in this? Well long ago I predicted that Barcelona would buy the 'idea' of him. He would feel like he played for both clubs and Arsenal would keep a player who, though remarkable, is unhappy. But even so, he is a gent of sorts.

Anyway, so Arsenal started the season and have managed to turn out some good results against weak opposition on the whole. We have played well and the new signings have settled in without shattering expectations.

So far, so great. Chelsea and Man U do what they do. Man City are there and so on. I mean really how can this be worth writing about right now? Who cares? It is just about forming a consistent pattern and hoping you can set some pace without injury. We have injury. Vik Akers looks like he lost the players' sports bras and they cannot measure the load any more. Good thing too as Almunia's 46DDs probably would injure most men's backs.

I have nothing exciting to say about football right now. It is still a beautiful game and the tension up to the 95th minute against Sunderland can only echo how great it must be to watch for all those leagues who's results are predetermined by the team sheet. The EPL is still great and I take my hat off to it.

Instead, why don't I talk about the Pope's visit to the UK? Or the admission of witchcraft by Christine O'Donnell? Both of these stories have given me much food for thought in the last few days. Maybe I will do a non football posting quite soon. A rant I think.

I have to say, I respect the commitment shown by those who choose to blog hard and give their minds over to the content. But the idea of just throwing out words is frustrating me. The concept of a fan is frustrating me. The heuristic 'experience' of the loyal fan is such a contradiction. We can rouse the team. We can spit and moan. We can collect autographs, (if that's what you're about) and recall nice stories of players being kind. We can even make friends with the players. But it never, ever will fill the void of what we are really looking for in terms of sport and psychological fulfillment.

The tribal element of football fandom gives license to those who are prone to defend their right to 'belong' with a fist, a bottle, a Burberry or Stone Island cock ring and a meaningless fight in the purest sense - (another glaring contradiction).

England Expects by Morgan Penn

So, I am my Dad and I am bigger than your Dad who is you.

The tribal nature is not football. It is 'meaning' sought by those not ready for the emotional depth required by the police or the army. Hey, whatever floats your boat as the passion is most certainly there and I am sure that those thrill seekers feel more alive than I do most of the time.

What else is it? The desire to be respected for how much you know about the game? Is it the need to feel that love is returned by the club? Is it success? It can't be, for there are thousands, if not millions of fans who know they will never achieve success in terms of silverware. Is it hope for a better day? Does it become a religion with little evidence of a deity, but plenty of stories substantiated by 'real' events?

What is a fan? Frantz Fanon provocatively suggested that "Every spectator is a coward or a traitor". Can you imagine that hanging above the turnstiles of all stadia? Even better, in the dressing room of the away team.

Making sense of football is like trying to make sense of fashion. Rather than suggest like Barthes, that it is 'change without change', I would add that there is the unachievable glory of "being", but with clothes. If you care, then you can never be happy. And if you don't care, then you can never appreciate the aesthetic of the cut, the fit, the seeming reshaping of your body - with all its promises of the potential allure aimed at whoever and whatever you are dressing for that nestles in the back of your mind.

But the real head-wrecker about fashion and football is the visceral dupe. To be there, to imbibe and consume is a feeling so temporary that you are left in a wonder and daze, trying week in and week out to revisit or recreate the high you once had before. The problem is, this is not for the fan to create. It is created for us and by chance variable circumstances and key components, working together and against each other to amount in an outcome that can bring us both pleasure and pain (as well as other things too). This is a form of diegetic materialism. It is owned by the masses and only measurable in situ. There are no decent tools to measure it and it would never agree to stay still long enough to be measured. All the fan can hope is that people keep providing an arena for this implausible and improbable high to resurface once in a while.

If it all reads like waffle, it is because it is. I don't use that as an excuse, but it certainly helps me comprehend the highs and lows and general ambivalence at times.

I will say this to finish. Football can energise and sap our lives of meaning, and like any good art it feels like the truth. Which in itself is abstract.

Let's Be Honest

I hate that phrase. It is a politicians phrase and not a very good one. They can lie after that prefix and still claim some truth in their diatribe. It is popular political speak. A quest for populism based on a platform of 'normality'.
People will understand the command for attention from the speaker, before they unleash a flurry of shite. Common practise among politicians, figureheads. Business leaders and now in football.

Cesc Fabregas is back at Arsenal and no matter what kind of spin you put on it, it will sound odd. It will make little sense. It will feel unconvincing but still from the horses mouth so indisputable. In short, pathetic.

I have nothing against fab leaving. I don't much like they way Barca have behaved but they are entitled to do what they can get away with. In which case Wenger should be prepared and in the most has handled the whole affair well.

I am on holiday and don't want to discuss signings, goalkeepers etc just now. But I will say this - at the launch of Arsenal's new charity deal with Centrepoint, wenger failed to attends as his previous meeting over ran.

Some suspected that he was tying up a deal for the Centre back Spahic. I am concerned that he was wrapping up Jay Simpson to Hull or Leeds. If this is the case I am fucking appalled. It is not good enough and our business dealings this summer are not good enough. No marquee player, no early deals as promised
More prolonged shite owing to us being a selling club.

Wenger cannot break the cycle and yet the optimists are already getting their funny feeling that this will be the season. Let's see in February.

Lastly, it is probably a 'misquote' but Jermaine Defoe has claimed that Spurs could do better than Arsenal in the champions league this season. Why? Because they're really excited to be there and could cause an upset.

I think Defoe has more chance of a year long contract supporting Elton John in Las Vegas than spurs doing well in the CL. But hey he is really excited.

This really could be Tottenham's season. This really could. Every season they go and build an even bigger and better weapon, stand in front of it as they launch it. Then they shoot themselves in the face. Why?

Still it's more exciting than Arsenal.

The GPS Test and Selling The Idea of Fabregas

The World Cup is over. Good. Well done Spain. It was fun.

Now, the question on everyone’s lips when Eduardo’s leg was snapped in half by Martin Taylor, was “is he tired?”

When Aaron Ramsey was lanced through the shin by the hyper-extended, muscle-locked battle ram that is Ryan Shawcross, we all wondered if Ramsey has clocked up enough rest.

When, oh for God’s sake you get my point. Arsenal has introduced a GPS system to monitor their players ‘load’. It can calculate where all the players are, how much they have run, the speeds, shuttles, twists, walks, jumps and rolls. It can also tell just how much time their foot has been on the ground in mid-run. This is called ‘the load’ and can be affected by every type of physical exertion you can think of.

This leads me to ask several questions within and without the confines of logic, to guide me to answers that will dance their merry dance in the minds of the mad or stupid. I am both I guess for even asking and attempting to answer the following:

1. Does ‘the load’ suggest the likes of Ramsey and Eduardo could have jumped out of the way?
2. When a player is tired and close to an injury, is that solely down to heavy feet and this can be eliminated by telling how much a player has done during a game? Sub question, can Wenger pull the plug on players like a weak Duracell rival and ferry them off the pitch like some fucking dish at Yo Sushi?
3. If a cock of a player decides to get sent off for momentary madness, (thus increasing the ‘load’ of at least 70% of the players), can the player who inevitably has his leg broken sue the offending team-mate for assisting the enforced hiatus in approximately 8% of his normal and naturally fulfilled career? Stick with me, these get better….
4. When Emmanuel Eboue went mad two seasons back and tried to kill Kolo Toure, after playing a succession of ‘hospital balls’, would his emotional ‘load’ depend on his Psycho-Satellite transmitting unfavourable information? Would that nowadays prompt Wenger to substitute his substitute owing to the fact that he lost his head thus leaving a non metaphoric heavy footprint on the Emirates bowling green?
5. Does a player who is upping his game to take the slack of a weaker performer get subbed because he has run too much and this forfeit the outcome of the game to avoid injury?
6. Does GPS pick up instances such as John Terry’s quite obvious quest for injury against Algeria, when he fired himself in the direction of the ball like a pencil from an elastic band across the classroom? Does this have a Unix based algorithm?
7. If Manuel Almunia positions himself correctly to receive shots and crosses, but his fucking extraordinary nano-second paranoia weakens him at the wrists, thus virtually throwing the ball in his own net on several occasions – are we to believe Wenger that he has a virus and that the medical staff are running every Norton concoction available to improve his condition? How does fuck off grab you?
8. If Gael Clichy falls over defending our box at 85 mins into every game, do we need a computer to tell us his ‘load’ is up a notch?
9. When Nigel De Jong attacked Xavi Alonso like an axe-wielding Jack Nicholson did the bathroom door in The Shining, could Wenger have saved him from this X-rated moment? How does fuck off grab you?
10. If Robin van Persie and Theo Walcott are the football equivalent of Tsar Nicholas II’s haemophiliac son, would Wenger not be better served finding a Rasputin-esque cure, rather than quickly firing off the following:
5. Goto Walcott
10. Goto Van Persie
15. Massage until better
20. Run
Error unknown command
Cock

The questions keep coming and I am sure they would get better. To create a profile on a player will take up to a season and owing to their pathetic and exhausting international commitments, the players are unlikely to be wearing their sexy GPS sports bras while turning out in God knows where?

Furthermore, when the player is overnight in Greece on Champions League duty, and on the phone to their over pumped, silicon and botox mannequin, who they suspect of having an affair with her midget surgeon with a God-complex – will this emotional defect pick up on GPS and filter through as they run around, ashen faced, ignoring the ball as they muse over the potential shape of a reconstructed labia?

What makes a player better than our existing ones? Usually it comes down to skill, confidence, technique and character. Then one has to deploy them in a system that is effective - based on the sum total of the parts of the machine. Simples. So rid us of the crap players, replace them with good ones using the well-earned money that has been counted by effective computer programmes that do make sense. All Love Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches!!! You have a winning team.

A few months back I wrote a transcript of a conversation I imagined taking place between Wenger and Fabregas. I am now utterly convinced that I got the conversation directly from the GPS transmitter of God (who was the only other entity present at the time). This is because the perfect simulacrum created by them and aided by the media, renders them invisible and actually unimportant as the area they are supposedly experts in becomes nebulous. Barcelona have been sold the idea of Fabregas. Wenger is now managing the reality of the situation while Cesc waits in a Spanish cupboard counting “98, 99, 100 coming ready or not!” Only to find that he is wearing a long black coat and chatting to a small Indian girl on the platform of a parallel universe train station. Along comes a train and out of the window leans a bloody composite of four spherical masses. The train we discover, is being driven by the balls of Rupert Murdoch and the eyes of Sepp Blatter.

Today FIFA.com ran a story about Xavi of Barcelona stating that Fabregas is only on loan as his return is inevitable. When some Arsenal fans emailed FIFA to highlight that they were actually acting like agents in the ‘tapping up’ of Cesc, the story came down within ten minutes.

Football is unmanageable.

I’m going to insert a SIM card in my arse and try to hook it up to my Sky dish (if the cats aren’t sleeping on it today), and see if I can get a text telling me it would be prudent to stop being a dickhead right NOW! Fortunately, I have a few friends left who will spare me the telephony self-sodomizing. So has Arsene Wenger if he would just listen to them.

It is going to be a long and draining season.

I've a big un

I have a big posting coming in the next few days.

This much I promise.

The Long and Winding Road

More people in Congo died. The news is making more of it as it looks like 250 at least. However, the shocking and vivid imagery is in the detail. Not horror story detail but the tales of the brave and foolish. Many people died as their villages burned down which is tragic and terrifying. Others died trying to collect spilled fuel for personal use or sale. I find my mind haunted by this kind of surprise immolation. Collecting fuel with danger all around and the wind turns fanning the flames your way. It sickens me that humans are allowed to live in conditions where that kind of quest is even an option. What kind of national protectionism and foreign policy invites this mentality?

This blog is usually about football and I shall bring it back. But I don't feel like chatting football now.

Player Power and Player Ignorance

What have we learned from this World Cup so far? Firstly, we have been shown that 60 people can die in a train crash in Congo and it barely gets noticed. Bombs continue to go off in Iraq and soldiers continue to die in Afghanistan. Most strangely, the new government picked the day before England’s final group game to have the new budget announcements. The fixtures have been available for several months – so before anyone suggests a coincidence, I suggest not.

The World Cup is NEWS. It is also the suspension of reality for many – as if English adults and children alike can believe that Santa Claus really does exist and then have the carpet pulled from under their Reebok Classics. All of this makes for great stories to be exploited by the media, as the swathes of empathy seep through the veins of the nation with an accent less and orgasmic groan.

The headlines and lead stories on all platforms of the media funnel sports and real life on to the plate of café cooked inertia, so much so that a sausage is no longer that. Instead, problems and solutions are served up with so many options yet the main ingredients can never be disguised from being nauseating. Akin to the Monty Python’s spam sketch, we are left to believe that by shuffling the pack, we might come up with a new formation that will change the perception of our team from within and without. Forget what the public think, the players are too detached to know. Until the booing manages to drown out the vuvuzelas and the accent less groan fills and drowns the pubs, valleys and green, green grass of home. The public all tend to feel that this is not the best 23, but aside from the injured Ferdinand, who else would have been in with a shout? Joe Cole should get a game – but he should be used as a secret weapon rather than a beacon of hope and expectation. So it is too late for him to have a real impact. Theo Walcott? Please! Adam Johnson? Do me a favour. Michael Owen?

This Golden Generation has little to offer the hungry English public. As they trawl the pubs, bars, streets, promenades, off licences, supermarkets, churches?, newspapers, magazines, websites, talk radio stations and tv phone-ins, looking for clues and answers, they often forget to look at the real recipe for this shit. There they stand, be it at home or abroad, in their Nylon ¾ length tracksuit bottoms, sleeveless and perforated ‘sport’ t shirts, ped socks with slip-on trainers, baseball cap and optional ‘sport’ jumper (depending on the weather), mulling over the miles and miles of larger than life picture menus with broken, damp or mouldy corners, advertising the 11 types of plated shit being served to the English all around the world. And it sells remarkably well!

ITV and BBC are doing whatever they can do sanitise this shit based on punditry that can only be described as ‘the half time show’. A wise friend suggested that they should have real half time evaluation on the red button with people who want to suggest why teams are so dull, stifled, how they scored, where mistakes really were made, what the manager is doing wrong etc. The rest of us can watch Hansen and Townsend condoning and puffing, a toy bus touring parts of hell, the England backroom staff rehearsing their plans for half time to be shown at half time, so the public can imagine the scenarios of what might be happening at half time depending on how the first half has progressed. In saying this, one might speculate that the ‘beautiful game’ is an amazing cultural pageant that manages to engage the international community in a way that nothing else can. Or, one could say ‘fuck this ludicrous attempt to make a piece of shit memorable and enjoyable by spraying it gold and offering it to people to bite”.

It all depends on the result and the resulting reaction. Some people say that the English public are prone to over-reacting. Some people suggest that the squad are not up to standard and we have never replaced the ‘World Class’ indispensible players of the past. I say that there are cemeteries, old people’s homes, TV studios and pubs full of ‘indispensible’ footballers who have died in poverty, pimped themselves to the media, aged artificially from management and coaching. Past players have generally found that football gives and takes away in fits of euphoria and decline, glory and atrophy.

The diet needs feeding and the indispensible is soon dispensed with and replaced with a younger, over sponsored hype.

Here’s Gabby or Gabriel with the full story…

Back to football

Paul Hayward writes a very interesting article in the Observer this morning. Worth reading as it sheds more light on my fears about poverty vs extravagance (from previous blog).

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/blog/2010/jun/13/world-cup-south-africa-paul-hayward

Having watched all the games so far, (thanks to an understanding if bemused wife), I am coming to terms with the systems being dominant in this tournament. A star player will be hard to come by. A couple of flashes might ensue, even a good game, but there is no Maradona, Zidane circa 98, Pele, Cruyff, etc.

So does this mean that the teams are improving? Certainly. They are better prepared than ever and fitter and more accustomed to the pressures of football. Does it also mean that so called star players are not quite what they are cracked up to be? Definitely. It is shocking and an abuse of our intelligence to suggest the figures thrown around by the teams and media who want to see some movement in the transfer market.

Here is an example:

James Milner £30 million demanded - £24 million offered. 2 passes, 2 fouls, yellow card, sent off, won nothing in his career.

Frank Ribery £50 million demanded, no one offered, signs a new contract with Bayern. A pile of weak and sightly soft shite.

Angel Di Maria - Benfica want £30 million and several teams are keen. Ineffective and lightweight.

Kaka - £60 million and couldn't get a game for Real Madrid.

Cesc Fabregas - aged 23, goals: many £29 million offered. No wonder Arsenal fans cannot stomach the name of Barcelona when each season they attempt to abuse us with their devaluations.

Yaya Toure - Aged 26, goals none, price demanded £30 million.

Yoann Gourcuff - just go away - let's not even bother with him.

Luis Suarez - As above. Pathetic and limp.

I could go on, but you probably get the point. And this is what Wenger sees when he looks at the market and watches prices inflate, just because he likes the look of a player, the price can inflate by 5-10 million.

The transfer system has always been about double standards and inflated prices, but now it also has the players demanding moves and not caring about what that can do to the club and the length of their contract. So in Fabregas' case, I am sad but I want him to piss off so I can get on with forgetting him. He is a wonderful player but he wants out of his contract 5 years early. Barcelona insist they will only pay what they think is reasonable. In my book that means he doesn't get his way and they don't get their player.

But an unhappy footballer is apparently a disease no club wants so Wenger is working very hard to broker a deal.

I am largely unimpressed. But Joe Cole will play like Fab without the constant rumours. We can build a team with a better keeper and defence that would challenge, even without Fabregas.

All of this is not dependent on the plight of our captain. If Wenger really is going to buy a whole new spine to the team, then he admits we fell short, he spends what is needed and we come back stronger. At least I hope that is the case.

As for England, where was Wayne Rooney? Why did Gerrard and Lampard start making errors at the same time? How can Ledley King be justified? Is Milner any good? Wright Phillips? Heskey?

When Joe Cole recovers from his bug, he will play. Hart should be in goal but Green will continue I think. England will still qualify and could even still do well.

But systems win out and we haven't quite got ours yet. We have a squad picked for a system but don't know our best starting XI. It will come I think.

Still, at least we aren't France.

The World Cup

The World Cup starts tomorrow and I am very excited. But I feel guilty too.

On the one hand, there is a deluge of quality and meaningful football where virtually every result is crucial to each team. All of this, with some of the best players on Earth and some virtually unknown ones who are yet to be stars. There are managers pitting their wits and skills against each other who know that this is the time to shine, or fall on their sword. This is the run-in to the EPL and the knock out stages of the Champions League crammed into 4 weeks. But it is managed without the European predictability and money counts for nothing in this version of the game.

Which brings me to the guilty part and this is difficult to write (not because I feel bad, but because it is hard to avoid nonsensical waffle here).

FIFA is an organisation based on corruption, apathy, ambivalence and impossibly obtuse yet knee jerk rulings. They are the Taliban and the Suffragettes, the Republicans and the Hippies, Ladbrokes and the charity ‘Shelter’. In other words, they comprise of a hideous amalgam of departments and employees who are as conflicted and misguided as the BNP on a recruitment drive for ethnics minorities in their futile quest for legitimacy. It just doesn’t make any sense.

I don’t really want to go into reason why I feel this about FIFA. Suffice to say that they are exploitative leeches that bleed countries dry in the name of handing out the high-class drug of SOCCER. That being said, they are no different really to the IOC, or the FIA, or Simon Cowell.

What I am implying here is that the benefits that they claim to bring to a nation, a continent, the world – are so great, yet their benevolence is far from obvious. It is almost as if they give the globe the game of football and in return they want our money. And lots of it!

So why should I feel guilty? Mainly because the awarding of the tournament to the host nation is seen as a license to print money. This is all well and fine if you are Germany or France or the USA. It fits the capitalist mold and, if well managed, will bring a sizable wealth to the economies of those 'developed' countries/economies. But in awarding the tournament to South Africa, as if this country is to be taken seriously as a 'World Class' economy, this is crazy and blind. The one place the money needs to go is exactly where it will not go - to the poorest communities and most needy.

In an age of austerity and international unemployment, is the tourist industry of South Africa and the Southern African countries really going to benefit from 4 weeks of madness? An economy is relative to its surroundings. If hotels and bars put up their prices, then the servicers and providers to those industries will make sure they do as well. If this is the case, then where will the profit go?

In short, surely to the likes of Radisson, Coca Cola, Visa, Barclays, Shell, etc etc etc. Do we think for one minute that the South Africans will get a pay rise? Is there any guarantee that the large amount of temporary staff will have anything more than a 6 week contract? Will the money coming in, even touch the sides of the South African pockets who need it most? Will the tournament dramatically change the infrastructure of the country/economy in a way to raise it out of the clutches of poverty? Will it fuck.

The curse of the tournament (EG Olympics and Greece), is that unless you have a thriving economy, it is very difficult to balance and manage the demands placed by the inflation of demand on a very short and fixed timescale. It is impossible to tell where or how the demand will feature strongest and then you are left counting the cost of success vs failure. Failure usually wins.

If the poorest nations are meant to be thankful and use the good grace of the tournament to kick-start its economy, then maybe it would be worth these poorer nations reminding the developed world that there is no working engine in the shell of an antiquated motorbike of an economy that they are meant to be riding on to the New World of ‘Development’. Fuck that, fuck the meaning behind that, and fucking having to read that sentence again. It is shocking that we don’t even question this and spit at the sponsors and FIFA again and again.

But as with all things money, if you organise the layers carefully and spread the conglomerate wealth out using horizontal and vertical integration, (a means of deception and exhausting avenues) – then no one will really know who, how, where, when or what they are meant to complain about when they see oppression, poverty, human rights issues, awful working conditions and so on.

Football brings many people together but inadvertently, it also breeds collusion. Collusion with the National Front in the 70's, the racists, the marketers, the capitalists, the fascists, the fundamentalists, etc. So, do we accept the tournament for the beauty of the spectacle, or do we cynically turn away thus denying ourselves the enjoyment of one of sports’ greatest shows?

I will watch, I will drink coke probably too, but I hope by asking some questions, I am on the right path beyond collusion into bringing benefits to those who need them. I just don't really know how.

Football and money. What a drug cocktail?

The moment in Groundhog Day when...

the clock chimes 6.00am and Bill Murray awakes to find the same old thing.

Anyone who has seen the movie has probably wondered why he can't stay up until 6am, what would happen physically to his immediate environment if he were to be caught out in the snow and with a lady, or saving a life. Would everything rewind itself at the speed of light, or would it be slow enough to comprehend?

The reason I suggest this is that there is a point in the close season where logic and reason is replaced by blind hope and optimism. A plan and belief for success overtakes the glum reality or excess of the season past, and building on what was is the recipe for the future. Whether one supports Chelsea, Man U or Arsenal - or whether it be Hull, Swindon or even Barnet, you find yourself beginning to believe.

This is easier in a close season when there is no major tournament to cloud your hopes. Nonetheless, the almost unnoticeable and invisible transition into believing in better takes hold and you start to get suckered in. A new kit awaits, pre-season dates sound interesting and the fixture list will be announced soon. Then there is the excitement linked to potential and actual new signings to arouse the creative fluids. The new shape and form of your team playing in a new kit with a renewed spirit and drive for success.

All of this is fine, except I support Arsenal. Success according to our manager is 3rd or 4th place and I couldn't give a shit about a new kit. New signings will be unknown French or African players and our marquee players must be loved hard enough to be set free - with no potential replacement or compensation in sight. Our manager will use the Arsenal.com sex line to suggest all signings will be made before the World Cup and that no one will be leaving.

Delusional creativity with the truth. Like the controllers of the matchday highlights, refusing to show instant replays as if the action didn't happen.

Well I have no happy ending and I am no cynic. I just remember going a season unbeaten and saying to myself, 'remember this you twit as you will be craving improvements and further success'. This is karma.

What do you want? As a football fan and/or a person who hopes for a better future, what do you want? It makes sense to hope and it is the underpinning of all religion. So why not use the same principles in football? Except I am an atheist.

Like the old comedic quip about love and marriage... after enough years together, it is their non-stop breathing that you hate the most.

Arsenal need a fucking urgent face lift and boob job - as who wants to wake up with Andie Macdowell anyway? She's not worth it, nor is Cesc and if Wenger wants to keep making indie movies with the hope that another Blair Witch or Slumdog Millionaire is just a clapperboard of the fingers away, then he can piss off too.

I have matchsticks in my eyes as that 6.00am rolls closer. I will be all too ready to pounce and strangle the elfin Sky Sports spin doctors handing out ecstasy pills and trying to milk the World Cup as they hang the next Premier League race out to dry.

Before that we have a World Cup organised by a Governing Body who make the Afghan elections look fair. So the fight against all odds is designed to send us all running back to our first love - the beloved club side who just keep breathing and breathing.

Grrrr.

It has been a while

The end of the season has petered out to usher in silly season. Except a level of calm has to underpin the mood of potential decadence and opulence, due to the important matter of the World Cup. This has left the hacking media short of anything to report.


Much like the News of the World and their Fake Sheikh, the hacks again showed Cesc Fabregas a picture of Barcelona and said "do you love home?". He replied yes. "Why don't you move there then?". "I hope to one day", he replied. This became a massive story, the only story.

There are several reasons for this. The main one must stem from UEFA's new legislation on club finances. With Barca 420 million Euros in debt, they have made contact with Cesc and told him unless he comes now, they will not be able to bid for him in the next 3 seasons. They will be forced to pay off debts and run their club in a sensible manner. This is akin to Mel Gibson drinking for 10 men and then fighting, fucking and resisting arrest and blaming the Jews for anything bad in the world. Then after checking himself into rehab, he comes out after a period of time that he thinks is acceptable and says, "I'm sorry I screwed up. Lessons have been learned and I want to get on with my work and life to make up for lost time and poor behaviour. Please take me seriously world!?"

Well OK Mel and Barca, you made mistakes and a period of Protestant Ethics is upon us. But not until one last big splurge. I can imagine Barca trying to explain to Cesc, who is in no way unintelligent, that Spain is in a fiscal hell and will be readdressing everything from the public and private sector, right down to the tax system for Special Peoples. If he doesn't sign now, instead of 16%, he will have to pay 40% or more tax and they won't be able to afford his salary. Furthermore, the debts they have will have to be refinanced by banks who cannot afford to borrow from their European counterparts owing to Spains' debunked credit rating.

So Cesc, who is still not unintelligent, is sitting there staring in disbelief as Barca officials tell him that if he signs, everything will be good for a few months at least. But then it will become potentially difficult and he might need to renegotiate his contract.

Then he flies back to London to speak with Wenger who has a degree in Economics and follows the world's financial plight very carefully. This is the man who predicted a period of bust for football and underlined the unsustainable nature of not only the Premier League, but also subscription television's role in the planned outgoings of the average John Smith. Something had to give, and gived out it did!!!

So Wenger tells Cesc that Barca are right. This is the only time they can really buy him for the next 3 years. He underlines how right he was to be football's Moses as he leads the leagues into the emancipated land of austerity. And Cesc, who is not unintelligent weighs this all up and says, "You are a smart man and obviously right - but what about winning things?"

Wenger says, "I thought you'd ask that. Well you see we have won in some ways. Football is a sport and a business and we have played the financial markets well in selling our land and building in a time of limited boom. We secured a long term loan at a rate that would never be offered to any team again in the history of humanity and money lending and that in itself should be celebrated like a World Cup Final win. Then, we have the top 3 finish. This is good. Then we have Abou Diaby who will be the most underrated, yet effective player at the world cup. This is good for business and football Cesc."

"But France are crap!?"

"Yes but they will play an effective system that will allow his real skills to be on show"

"But you don't do this with Arsenal"

"No but then I can't"

"Why not boss?"

"Because with you in the team it makes it very difficult to play 4-4-2 or 4-3-2-1"

"So I should leave?"

"No"

"Abou should leave?"

"Cesc this is not about leaving or staying, nor is it about playing or winning"

"What is it about?"

"Well in the most simple terms, it is about convincing those who doubt you, to understand the ephemeral and fickle nature of doubt and its transient disease-like whimsy"

"Oh?"

"Yes, you see psychologically, winning is detrimental to your hunger as a 'winner'"

"Ah..."

"So though we in sport all really want to win, it is the cost of winning that makes people take chances like in gambling"

"Don't you have to take a gamble to win?"

"Yes, you do. But once you have 'won' per se, you have to start considering what the biggest awards are and then an arrogance and complacency sets in which tempers one's quest to win all that is on offer"

"And this is not good?"

"No. Mainly because you try to consolidate and this is based on spending to remain strong, or spending to replace those who lose their strength and hunger"

"So this is why you only sign players you already own?"

"Exactly!"

"So then what?"

"Well this is where the real gamble comes in"

"What is that?"

"Well once in a while, you will sign a player who will change the perception of your team in the eyes of the opposition. This player will be a top, top player and have an aura that affects the game plan of the opposition. When you have one of those players, you can effectively 'remortgage' your style and brand."

"Does that mean me?"

"Yes"

"Does that mean that you have to sell me?"

"Possibly but not necessarily. It could mean that I sell the idea of you"

"To who?"

"To Barcelona"

"So Barcelona will buy the idea of me"

"Exactly. They don't need you yet. But they do have pressing issues with impending financial restrictions, so as a compromise, I am working on selling them the idea of you"

"Who do I then play for?"

"Who would you like to play for?"

"I would like to play for both clubs, but I have already played a lot for Arsenal and we have won nothing"

"Exactly, and you are our marquee player which is why Barca have their doubts and are equally interested in the idea of you as opposed to having you outright"

"So I am not very good?"

"No you are very good. The team around you needs to improve"

"How does that happen?"

"This is not your concern"

"So what should I do?"

"Go to the World Cup and play as well as you can. Don't think about Arsenal or Barcelona, or the idea of yourself. Be in the now and challenge the opposition to recognise your effect"

"OK"

"Leave the rest to me. It is a challenge but one I am up for. I will sell the idea of you and maybe the promise too if they will pay enough. But at the same time I do not like the idea of spending beyond your means, so Barca have to offer a lot of money, but at the same time not too much or I won't approve"

"That is complicated and not my concern"

"Exactly"

And so Cesc returns to Spain and preparation for the World Cup. He takes a press conference and suggests that he had the best conversation he has ever had with anyone. He will leave all in the hands of Wenger, who as we see has a plan.

In short Abou Diaby is the key to Cesc's future. If he can pass a bit better, then Cesc can go. If not, then the idea of Cesc going remains. If there is relative success for France, then the promise of Cesc is pledged to Barca with the idea and possibly the player to follow.

So Cesc, who is not unintelligent is comfortable with that scenario and is able to enjoy the emotional and financial emancipation of having not had to ask for a transfer.

This conversation both increased and decreased the fluctuating value of the player as there must be more than one price in total. And who do we have to thank for this, the News of the World. They did not create the story but instead paved the way for the universal simulacra that is the football industry.

There can be nothing to celebrate when victory is so short lived. It is meaning that Wenger wants to recreate and Cesc understands this. Beauty is the simulation and convergence of all positive ideas dancing in time with each other. No matter how briefly. A piece of silver to commemorate this is as crass as Gerald Ratner agreeing that his produce is 'crap'.

It is the insatiable need to dine on this crap that makes football so enjoyable and confusing. But the real truth is in the thrill of the chase. A football match as we all know is only 2/3 of the time in play and most of that play is largely boring and ineffective.

So what happens if you make that bit interesting without caring too much for the result?

And thus was born Wenger's Arsenal. Get on board or turn over.

End of season blues

Did anyone notice how depressed Wenger was in the post match interviews?

Yet again he had to justify himself, answering the same questions he has since Arsenal began to collapse a month ago. It was as if it were a series of questions too far.

Why do you think that is? There were banners out that called for money to be spent, or to sod off. There was a lovely banner which said 'Wenger don't be a buffoon, sign Buffon" The former banner was confiscated by the stewards at half time, the New Labour Hall of Football cannot possibly allow complaints.

The match was an aside. Fulham had other things on their mind and Arsenal slaughtered them. Game over.

Then we had a miserable parade, lead by a very forlorn Fabregas, who, according to Gulliem Ballague is to leave for Barca by the end of May. Wow. That is a quick transfer even by our standards. That would complete a turnaround of denials and rejections that undermine the process of loving the badge to a new level.

Personally, I think Fabregas should go. Barca are too reliant on Xavi and he doesn't score enough for club or country. It makes sense and Barca need freshening up. Arsenal need a new change that Wenger will not bring about. However, if it is forced on him, then we could see a return to the strength, speed and skill that was so prevalent in the 2004 team. Cesc is a wonderful player and I hope we keep him, but I would not be gutted if he left. It is good business and Wenger will be forced to spend and buy two for the price of one.

Nonetheless, a clear-out is what the moody parade highlighted. The walk of shame was compounded by the likes of Almunia, Rosicky, Eduardo, Vela as well as Silvestre's and Gallas' absence. The only highlight was Eboue and RVP getting the plaudits they mostly deserve. Saying that, RVP cannot play more than half a season and cannot be relied upon. Vela was the sole reason that Wenger did not spend the money from Adebayor. Vela played 1 start and scored 1 goal. That is good business!!!??? Please.

Wenger is holding the club to ransom. They cannot imagine a club without his prudence. He won't sign a contract until he 'feels the love' again. But at the same time, the fans vote with their feet and the stadium was half empty for the 'lap of appreciation'. It was shocking but that seemed to be a fair reflection of the capitulation of the club. They can stave it off until later and later but it will still come and still be devastating to their chances of success. There were so many empty seats and boxes during the game. "Signings or sign off" and that upset Arsene. A lot.

3rd place according to the manager is a trophy. Arsenal are in a state of atrophy as the try to tread water without feeding the muscle base.

I am truly excited about the World Cup and hope I have time to write about players I have never seen before and look at in more detail. It is always false as players can peak at the major tournaments and never transfer that performance level into regular play. Toto Schillachi anyone? Poborsky? Gascoigne?

Anyway, Arsenal have come up short and have run out of excuses for now. A few characters and some experience could rejuvenate a squad which is not missing much. Even a trade involving Fabregas might dispel a few myths about over reliance on the one man a la Henry. Arshavin can go to Barca as part of that deal too. He can take his freakish Russian website with him and get it translated into Spanish. Then when he insults the women, cooking, manager, sun and size of the beaches, we can all pay no attention because we will never know. He is the Marcel Duchamp of football. Genius, clown, fuckwit and a little legacy.

I have to renew my season ticket soon. I am going to leave this until the last to see who we sign. If I am unimpressed, I may forgo Arsenal and concentrate on being a human for a bit. It is a strange thought and choice, but faced with the impending nature of tomorrow, coupled with the permanence of breathing, it is only likely that we will sign free or cheap youths and the so called quality will be for Wenger to enjoy on his own at the training ground.

If you picture a naked Wenger on a throne at training (nice image), in front of a huge frame cinema screen - with Diaby, Denilson, Vela, Almunia, Fabianski, Sagna, Traore, Rosicky, Merida, Eduardo, Silvestre and Senderos immediately behind it, all playing no opposition beautifully, against a green screen/pitch with Pat Rice and Boro Primorac furiously running CGI all over the shop, deleting the ball or any evidence of poor footwork. THAT is the training Wenger takes week in, week out.

Opposition got a big centre forward? "Don't worry boss, we'll just make the pitch lower down on the screen and increase Fabianski's height using After Effects. Problems with long throws? "We don't need to worry as this software never crashes boss - we will increase the head size of all our players"

Keep missing obvious chances to shoot? "Don't freeze your nuts off boss, we can increase the size of their feet, the size of the goal and slow down play using the special Jamie Redknapp 'He Can Quite LIterally Stop Time: Michael Chopra' filter"

Oh fuck off Dan. Bring on the World Cup.

Let's just merge with Barcelona

Let's just merge with Barca. With the latest players to be linked with a move from Arsenal to the Camp Nousance, why don't we just become their new B team but in the premiership? We could be called 'B' Arsen Loner. Then when RVP or AA or GC or CF have a good game, they can just get flown to Spain to train/play/sing with the A team.

This way, all the papers, TV channels and stupid blogs like mine can all go fuck ourselves in some coffee stained, b/o stenched, whiskey and vindaloo sting-ringing, pencil shaving hack dandruff and mouldy crumb keyboard infested makeshift meta-bed. An orgy of mindless and spineless "I told you so" cock stabbing, designed to vindicate all, and at the same time render each fuck buddy unemployed in an orgasm of euphoric self-affirmation gorging each other's ability to predict the bleeding meaningless and pathetically obvious.

We could place the Emirates so smoothly on top of Camp Nou like some two tier wedding cake of cunts.

Would that solve the fucking problem? Take the money out of the media and you might be afflicted with the horrid condition of Honesty and Boredom. Fancy that!!!? Then what?

Fuckers.

Players loaned out

On Arsenal.com, the reserve team manager Neil Banfield says:

"We are looking for them to have benefited from playing at the sharp end, playing for points when it really does matter - we want to see how they have handled that.

"Also the preparation, because they are playing Saturday-Wednesday-Saturday-Wednesday, how they get over one game and get ready for the next one. It's the mental side of the game. When you're on loan you're playing for points and that really matters.

"They grow up, without a doubt. Maturity is something else we look for because they have seen what it's like [elsewhere], they have experienced different levels of the game. They see how hard it is away from Arsenal because they are well looked after here. They go out on loan and they realise there is another side to it."

It is a shame we cannot suggest new loan deals for Clichy, Sagna, Fabianski, Almunia, Diaby, Denilson, Walcott, Vela, Rosicky, Eboue and Wenger. Maybe they would come back a little more worldly and wise - able to mould new ideas into their game, and learn to fight for points.

Just a thought.

But is it a crime?

So the players who lacked humility, now lack desire and spirit. They felt they had the game won and made little effort in Wigan's amazing comeback.

I would go so far to say that they looked surprised rather than ashamed or hurt at the final whistle. The surprise is another ingredient of the hubris I mentioned in my last post. The tactical mistakes made by the players and more importantly, the manager are truly upsetting.

Only a few key things to mention. Goal 1. Diaby stopped tracking his player and strolled to the penalty spot as Watson ghosted to the edge of the area. Diaby didn't even get goalside. He veered to the near post where the cut back was coming from. His positioning was so wrong that his body shape was at its most narrow so had he even faced the cut back pass he would have never made contact.

Goal 2. Sagna makes a challenge on Moses that was not needed. Jockey the player and see where he wants to go. "Hmmm? No I will run into his side and dive next to him like he were Jurgen Klinsmann celebrating a goal".

Fabianski. Happy birthday 'great' keeper. If I drive to work really well within the legal speed limit but every day I kill a cat or injure an old lady because I cannot anticipate flotsum from the pavement, I should be bitch slapped by a judge and never allowed to drive. Lukas is that to football. He CAN catch, punch and dive to feet - but not often or consistently. Same as the Spanish Waiter. These two 'great' keepers are surely the most unpopular since George Woods. Wenger must take the blame as Lehmann made 3 mistakes and he was out. These guys have kept their mouths quiet so they can wreck a season that can alter the moods of millions of people. How odd that Arsene would show so much belief in such poor players? It is a massive mistake on his part and a stronger backroom team would call him to task on that. Like Cyrano de Bergerac, nobody dare comment on the size of his nose for fear of losing a bollock.

Goal 3. Clichy against Rodallega. The ball was in his control. No it wasn't. Comic Clichy in crunch time is a cock. Say that ten times quickly and that confusion is what goes through his head at 85-90 in each game. See too many examples for example! Great finish to sap the life from Fabianski like a Repo Man. Wenger must plan the defensive formations based on his 1975 black and white catalogue retrospective of L.S Lowry.



Above, a flat back four trying to defend a two dimensional box of frogs.

So what of Wenger? What of all the blogs suggesting that this is a scandal and he should be sacked? What of the fans suggesting the remaining games are meaningless?

Well they are not. Spurs and City could yet catch us, so we need Song and Arshavin back even half fit. Why didn't RVP come on at 2-0 or 2-1 and scare Wigan. What is Wenger protecting him for? If he is ready, then he is ready.

We threw the title away at Spurs and had it handed back to us. We then threw it away today when we took Eastmond off. I spent the whole game not getting him at all until it dawned on me. He is the annoying player in the playground who will run around all day forcing you into mistakes. He doesn't do much else. He blocks, he runs, he hassles and in the main it worked. To substitute him for RVP was tactical suicide and Wenger knows it.

Arsene did his press conference sans tie so he must have been so angry that he loosened his tie. What rage, what anger, what coolness. What lack of blame on his part. Now to appease Seb I won't call for his head. But he should be held to account for our third defeat on the bounce. Every season we collapse and the only difference this season is it is later than usual. 71 points is a decent haul but we have punched above our weight this season and have been found wanting. Should Wenger have to answer for this, or does his dichotomy of treating the players like responsible, intelligent adults, yet highlighting the collective youth in the side be a contradiction that none of us have to dwell on?

I for one am flummoxed as I feel he has now talked himself into a cul de sac of shite. On the one hand they lack experience, discipline, maturity. On the other, they have such spirit, commitment and belief. On the third tentacle, they have a naivety that needs nipping in the bud, on the fourth there is a desire to be winners and only of the best competitions. On the fifth, is the disdain for the cups that would provide the players with the experience of British pressure in order for them to cut their teeth. On the sixth is a DVD called Sprinting Into Injury volumes 17-250.

There are always two empty hands for the 'flail'. The crowds now imitate his flail. He is a parody of himself as his reasons contradict themselves. He won't pay over the odds but knows the players he needs will not come for the money he is willing to offer. He will not compromise his style and manner of football but when the shit hits the fan we play route one whether Bendtner or Arshavin are the lone frontman. He won't buy English because he doesn't believe in grit, yet we are linked with Kevin Nolan of all people!?! He wants to be on a par with Barcelona but is well known to not practise defending with his team, nor create a game plan based on the opposition.

I have said this in passing so many times that I will now consign it to text. Led Zeppelin's final album was a bunch of self indulgent, utter shite. Led Zeppelin!!! Gods of Rock making shite. They couldn't do anything about it because John Bonham drank himself to death. So before Fabregas hits the booze on a Russian style bender, I would suggest that Wenger cull some of the young, impotent and frankly self-obsessed bulls (who would, like Narcissus, like to do nothing more than stare at their own reflection in the trough) - and instead 'stake' his family holiday money on a couple of bulls, dripping with semen who can like Third Eye on the Bad Boy remix of Supercat's Dolly Me Baby "make fellas jump up and girls get buck naked".

Now you might accuse me of waffling but actually this is a catharsis as I try to let Wenger's plethora of contradictions resonate and settle in my obviously ill informed football mind. Because you see, I want him held to account, taken to task, have to explain himself and prove himself as a decent manager by working to other people's expectations. Doing it all his way makes him a despot and frankly a pain in the Arsene. Myles Palmer calls him the master of spin. Spin means never having to say you are sorry and account for your mistakes.

Farmer Arsene has made some big mistakes and needs to atone. His bulls don't have the balls. I'm not suggesting he mortgage the farm on some earth shattering changes. But before he opts to fuck the cows himself in a rage of responsibility for his herd, he could just pay for a little help.

Cow fucker.

Questions

The fallout from last night's defeat to Tottenham had made me want to make observations, or ask questions. Not because I want to be overly critical of Arsenal. Nor do I feel that Arsenal's season is a write off just because we have no silverware. It is mainly because the answers to these observations/questions will provide us with a better team (I feel).

1. Let's start with the Captain - when two teams line up in the tunnel, they stand behind the person who embodies the highest level of skill, strength, commitment, guile, determination, intelligence, desire, spirit, ability (pick as you choose). When the opposition sees Manuel Almunia leading Arsenal, they know they have a good chance to win or draw the game knowing Fabregas isn't there. They see the keeper as a joke and a bloody mystery that he is Deputy Captain.

2. Sol Campbell. If a 35 year old who has done it all and won it all is the only player in an Arsenal shirt showing genuine desire to compete and win, then the other players who refuse to follow his lead or example do not deserve to play. He should get a new contract and be given a coaching role as well so that the essence of what is famous about the Arsenal defence is not lost to some bogus back up players who occasionally play for a French national team in decline. That is no testimony and not reassuring to those who pay their wages.

3. Bacary Sagna. Yesterday he pushed Almunia as the ball fell to Danny Rose. The Spanish waiter punches the ball like he is setting it up for someone else to come and complete the smash. Obviously he is very poor, but to be pushed by your own player at the moment a shot is about to come in is very bad indeed.
For the second goal, Sagna tracked back without once looking across his defensive line. He played everyone onside and made Silvestre look like an idiot. Silvestre does not need help here. Sagna got hauled off because he was not doing his job anywhere near effectively enough. He might have played his last big game for Arsenal.

4. How many players does Wenger really need to buy? When considering this, remember it is a World Cup season and the players who play for any length of time at the World Cup will have an extended holiday, pre season and will not play first team til September. SO we can rule out, Van Persie, Fabregas, Walcott if he goes, Bendtner, Eboue, Djourou, Vela, Song, and then even if they go out first round Gallas (if he stays), Clichy, Sagna, Nasri, Diaby.
This fills me with no enthusiasm and whatever progress Wenger can claim to make this season with a 3rd place or even 2nd oplace finish will be off set by a weak start to 2010/2011 due to a shortage of average,good and very good players.

5. Gael Clichy can do a job but will never score or win us a game. If we sold him for £15 million, we have Kieran Gibbs and Armand Traore without spending anything. This money can be spent on new players rather than offering another new contract to Denilson or Eduardo. That could give us a total of £60 million in player sales and David Villa would send a marker to the rest of Europe. Unfortunately, he would want at least £150k a week, would want Wenger to sign a new contract and a motorised pony made of gold for him to practise wheelies on snow. THe regulations of Arsenal's debt state that 75% of this money HAS to be spent on players. Wenger so far has only rewarded existing players and therefore helped create the apathetic mentality that is so pervasive within the squad.

6. Hubris. Excessive pride, presumption or arrogance (originally toward the gods).Unchecked arrogance. This is the smile of Eboue when he should have shot, the rounded back of Vela when he gets mugged, the rounded mouth of Arshavin after another errant pass, the post-sneeze, Stephen K Amos' ugly father look of Diaby every time someone goes round him, the title of this blog as Wenger gives another press conference, the hollow eyes of Sagna, the smile of Bendtner after more miscontrol. They believe they are too good and will not compromise their ideals in the name of progression or regression. Their trust in Wenger is all that is needed - but what happens when he questions their maturity as he did last night. Knee jerk from Wenger but he will calm down and cuddle them all again soon enough.

7. 4-3-3 works against little clubs. We don't have the players to make it work at crunch time. Walcott cannot cope, Nasri is compensation for Denilson and Diaby who cannot cope, Rosicky cannot cope, Eduardo cannot play. We need wingers and strength - time to switch to 4-4-2 or 5-3-2. Fabregas and Song can handle centre midfield now. Van Persie, Bendtner and Chamakh need crosses. Let's try Nasri and Arshavin and if they don't like it, buy someone who does.

8. Wenger said in last year's AGM that we would win a trophy this season. He will point to the progress made in the league. He will avoid or skirt around the fact that we reached the semi final of the CL last season (someone has to play Barca), we reached the semi of the FA Cup. We have lost the same amount of league games but have converted more draws to wins. So the progress is only against the lesser teams which is a start. But it brings no experience of winning anything to a bunch of green youths who compared to earlier in the season, have forgotten that most of the work needed to win games is done ON the pitch and OFF the ball.

9. Spurs ran through us. Mainly because they didn't give Denilson a ball to intercept (they know he cannot tackle) and they took Diaby on from the front so he could not turn or match the break for pace. It was smart. After the first half power play, Redknapp told them to get at our flanks. It was easy. King and Dawson were excellent and only Kaboul looked like he was off the pace. Did we try to exploit it? No.

10. Is it all doom and gloom? No. But I return to my point about it being a World Cup season. Our team is so conditioned that where the most dull of teams will start the new season full of hope and determination, Wenger will encourage his players to hold back and control their dreams of winning so they do not injure their psyche. We must take it one game at a time and know that without all of the above players at the WC, we need to take our time for find a new rhythm until we play. Well Tony Adams on the 1998 season review tape said something along the lines of 'I don't believe in transition, it is just an excuse'.

Who will really come good? Would the team lose out if Vela, Rosicky, Eduardo, Senderos, Denilson, Merida, Silvestre, Fabianski, Almunia all left. I truly doubt it. The players who we already have would come in would try as them and have very similar stats.

11. It is no admission of failure to sell players who have not achieved the standards we once hoped for them. Vela and Eduardo are no Francis Jeffers and Denilson is so much better than Garde, Grimandi, et al but they don't play well together. Llungberg was poor for Sweden because they could not accommodate him. Wiltord could not play for France without boos. Sagna is better than Lauren. Clichy is better than Sylvinho. But Seaman and Lehmann are like Gods compared to our current keepers. Campbell, Adams, Keown and Toure (2002-4) are considerably better than Gallas and even Vermaelen (though he will probably be great soon enough). Why did we sell Pires?

Fabregas is a great but not better than Vieira in his prime. Van Persie is no Henry in his pomp. How many of the current crop would get into the 2002 or 2004 sides?

Let's pretend that the AGM is the Council Planning/Construction Committee. And let's pretend that Wenger is asking to build the most wonderful eco-house. Let's believe that he has sourced all the best materials and workers. Arsene has presented the council with evidence of his (vast) surplus of funds, and his budget is relatively tiny. He has shown some pretty drawings and everyone approves. He even wins some design accolades for his intentions and working methods and fair trade policy. The staff are all well briefed and paid.

But then rain, illness, cold weather, misunderstanding of building techniques, windows overlooking existing windows, fences encroaching on land which doesn't belong to them, neighbours deciding to burn these beautiful new fences, more neighbours complain about the building not honoring the architecture methods used in the area. Another wealthy neighbour is successful in turning the existing hood into a conservation area and claiming this new eco-house is in violation of this. The council try to appease all parties but suggest to Wenger that he move some of his windows and reign his fences in. Wenger is appalled and appeals to the councils' sense of aesthetic and design. Everyone tells him to fuck off and rebuild or knock it down.

Wenger is left with 3 choices, rebuild the pieces that will emancipate his project, knock the whole thing down and walk away, or walk in to the next planning meeting with Steve Harrison and shit into a paper cup for all that he cares what the council and public think. Fuck us all is one answer - but not the one I am looking for to all my questions and points.

Barcelona, Tottenham and takeovers/leftovers

I have not written since before the Barca game. Mainly because I have had too much to do. But also, I tried not to follow my general knee-jerk tendencies, (as I had much to say after the 4-1 defeat, but no way of making sense).

There was a feeling shared among many Arsenal fans after that defeat which suggested a defeatism to bury this season. I declared that I didn't want Arsenal to win the league as they were beaten by the best all season without properly competing. Then again, football is a game based on consistency. The EPL is a 38 game marathon and the CL is a 17 game half-marathon that you are meant to run at the same time. I think Arsenal have done a Paula Radcliffe by having a dump during the race and then pulling a hamstring chasing the pacemakers. Either way, you cannot poo your way to the title, (even though Chelsea try once in a while - sometimes they cannot help but play good football).

What did I think of the Barca return match? Well everything I said and thought has been churned out with thousands of words in all areas of the media since. It is obvious that the way that Barca press in two's and three's is an unbelievable demand on fitness and organisation. But they didn't create this method of playing football (Ajax did), and it is 'cup-football' that a quality team plays against a 'footballing' side. Barca do not play like this every game. They adapt to the opposition's strengths and weaknesses. So against Madrid, they toughed it out. Against Rubin Kazan, they forgot to play their formation and expected to win. They are guilty of a complacency that any good side can experience - but their complacency is limited to once or twice a season. This makes them champions because they work to win rather than winning because other teams threw it away.

Football is odd in that way. With a very good defence, you don't need great attackers to win the league. We saw this under George Graham and also Wenger's first years with 18 year old Anelka and Christopher Wreh. They were not exactly setting the world alight but with the pressing midfield and dominant defence, they knew that few teams would be able to complete more than 50% of their passes and the turnover rate of possession meant that we would get many opportunities to create and score. At worst we would draw and we still had a pretty poor attack.

So why not now? Why don't we have that mentality? Is our midfield weak, or our defence less organised? It is surely the latter. The midfield is creative and a goldmine of goals. But with half the season relying on a 5'5" Russian to hold the ball up, it is such an odd situation that we are even capable of winning the league now. (Not that I believe we will).

The defence and keeper have real issues and this is where our midfield get sloppy. Denilson, Diaby and Walcott play like they have Alves, Puyol, Xavi, Pique and Valdes behind them. Then they look surprised when they see Silvestre, Campbell, (Clichy ahead of them) and generally see each other.

Many of them play like we used to in the playground when we get the ball and shout 'Dalglish' or 'Nicholas' when we took a shot and imagine we were 'them'. Obviously the Arsenal players don't shout 'Zidane' but they bloody well think it. And then they stare at the ball, their boots, the ground, the kit, the crowd, the manager, the quality of air, the thickness of their gloves, the content of their Lucozade bottle when they miss the pass/shot/tackle.

Why? Psychology. Wenger trains them to believe that they are among the elite. They play as the best play. The work rate is good and to stick to their pace. Don't change the game and get desperate. Maintain a work ethic and the skill will out. And that is why we have beaten most of the lesser teams this season. We can await the errant passes and make the gaps with pretty off-ball running. But gimme a fucking break. So what?!?!

Faced by Chelsea, players are overcome by stage fright. They know they are better than Chelsea because Wenger told them so. They don't have to go and earn it because as long as they maintain their pace, the skill will out. Erm, no it won't. You see Chelsea can play and run because they compete for everything. They might lose occasionally, Inter out Chelsea'd them and use skill too - but generally they win or draw the games that matter. Why can't we? Well everyone has read about Arsenal's lack of plan B or Wenger's tactical limitations. I am not sure that any analysis needs to go beyond the defence and keepers. 3 new defenders and a new number 1 would change Arsharvin, Diaby, Walcott, Fabregas and Van Persie's game for the better. They would add new dimensions to their game.

Clichy needs to see how Ashley Cole plays percentages. Why does he not get caught out as often? How come when he slips and falls, the ball goes out of play or gets cleared? Because the defence play a tight unit and work for each other. They clear the ball and it is as good as scoring. Job done well. Our defence concentrates on passing nicely. This is why Toure looked more and more out place at the Arse. He had his natural tendencies stunted. Now he is deluded and crap.

Barca, played us the way they should have done. A high line, tempting us and waiting for Arsenal (of all teams), to show their weakness in their passing and compensation. It worked well. Messi was not that good. No better than Arsharvin was against Liverpool. He just keeps doing it and it is his consistency that makes him the best. Not just his skill and pace. Lucio will take him out and challenge Xavi and Iniesta to win the game. Messi won't have a chance because he has not come up against the best as yet. When he meets someone as big, quick and skilful as Lucio, he will dive, roll and cheat - but not as much as Lucio. Swan fucking Lake.

So will Wenger learn from the Barca game? Will Silvestre play for us again? Will Gallas? Will Denilson and Walcott be dropped and used only from the bench? Will Sagna be sold to Inter so we can pay for someone who can cross? Will we defend from the front in order to lessen the spate of injuries? Will anyone believe Colin Lewin that we suffer more because we sprint too much? Will Arsharvin or Fab leave? Do I care? Not really.

With the advent of Lady Nina's shares going up for sale, and Kronke's reaction seeming to be to place his eggs in his St Louis project, either he will try to buy us out using the debt of his American ventures and run the club like the Glazer and Hick/Gillett method. Or he will opt out, sell up and we will get the criminal. This bodes badly and the money/amounts discussed cannot disguise the fact that bad trouble lies ahead. Gazides is only there because of Kronke. If he reneges on his desire to buy out Arsenal, then is it because he has foreseen a shrinkage of TV money from the OFT ruling on Sky? Has he felt that Wenger has too much power and with him in charge, it is too risky to demand marquee players yet knows that change tempts a destruction of the quite solid foundations? These players play for Wenger, not for the shirt. Maybe Vermaelen and Arshavin could survive AW's departure. But can you imagine the French or Almunia? Good Lord?!?

Against Spurs, we will draw. It is so likely I can almost not watch in comfort. They will raise their game to a new level after Wembley and even without their toughest players and form of Defoe a bit worrying, they will churn it out. They will then lose by 3 to Chelsea and 2 to Man U and come fifth moaning about injuries.

We may well come 2nd but it will still be an odd season. Wenger will see this all like progress. Cesc will attract attention over the close season. Arsharvin will probably move somewhere that pays him more, unless the Tories first act is to abolish the rate of 50% tax on top earners. But then Man City will be the perfect place for his amateur Dostoyevsky website. Moron.

I can say much more but this is probably quite boring. In short, we need to learn to embrace defending like it is fun and realise that it does not detract from pretty football. We need to bully teams more - Chamakh will help with that if he comes. We need to stop surrounding the ref with every foul and instead learn to foul in European manner. (Bayern were so good at this against Man U that I actually found it skilful!). We need to surround the houses of Tony Pulis and Sam Allardyce and burn a cross on their lawns. Ok maybe not, but they need to be kept in check. Pulis will need a loan soon. He will come to us and will do a Bolton with his fucking tail between his legs. Or he will choose not to, let his team suffer, dice with relegation next season, get sacked and when Strachan or whoever takes his place, they will come in for the loan and stop attacking Arsenal. This might be Wenger's politicking behind the scenes. Weirdo.

If we beat Spurs, and they give Chelsea and Man U a game, I will be impressed and excited. But I still don't think we can or should win the league. even though our marathon credentials are good (barring poo), this season. We just are not good enough.

When Bergkamp slotted the ball through for Ljungberg to make it 2-0 against Bolton in 2002 at the Reebok, I knew we would win the league and that we were so good that our previous defeats that season would be forgotten. That just doesn't seem to be the case this season. Why?

I could answer that in the next blog. But I will do it here.

We are seasoned, bitter fans. We are not stupid either. We know that we are a feeder club for the bigger teams who will pay more. Our players get tempted and leave and the ability to win back to back titles is something Wenger doesn't have in him. He cannot recreate the winning mentality when he loses key players and he doesn't seem to realise that we cannot afford to lose key players. But we are Arsenal. We are a glamorous Millwall. We are not Barca or Real and we do not pay like Chelsea. We cannot afford our good players and pay the weak ones too much. We are John Lewis playing against Tesco, Wall Mart and Harvey Nichols.

Kronke can change this, so can Usmanov, but Wenger cannot cope with his project coming to an end and no trophies to show for it. So the pissing contest begins and the side who manages to convince the media of their pissing skills and distance, while distracting media/public perception from the fact that this is piss and it is yucky - they will win the hearts and minds for 6 - 12 months.

Somewhere among this, football gets played and not much changes but trophies are unlikely.

Still, we aren't Liverpool.

Hospitalised - sorry about mistakes (written on phone)

So much to say and so little time.

First, a very good piece on football365.com about British tackling becoming and old fashioned thing of the past. It was argued that Barcelona don't hurl themselves around playing a game of chance with huge tackles to rouse a crowd. Instead they play a percentage game by stretching the pitch in possession and narrowing it when they've lost the ball. They use interception as the new tackle as it is much easier, more intelligent and less risk of injury. It is so true having witnessed it at first hand. The off the ball running is staggering. But I also believes they peaked in the first half and neither side will provide such stiff opposition in the return game. It will be open but with mistakes.

The next thing is that it could be argued that the reason Barca can play like that is because Arsenal can wholly appreciate their tactical genius. This is true and they can do this to the best teams. But when they fall short, the smaller teams have pressed them into mistakes from deep and it has worked each time.

Myles Palmer on Arsenal News Review again slagged off Wenger claiming this is his last hurrah. Maybe but I feel he is writing for the Sun in a non profit, under subscribed sensationalist blog. He needs to go back and re read himself. It is so bitter he sounds as if he is jealous of Wenger and wants to manage Arsenal himself. Oddball.

Lastly (as I'd like to keep it brief today), wolves can be a real threat. Ha ha. No seriously, in our team of confidence players with one eye on Barca and the other on Spurs - our season could end today because the players got full on the starter and forgot to leave room for the main course. That is something we need to worry about. Nasri and Theo have to step up. Also a great point I heard about Denilson (a player I have usually no time for), he is the most barca like player we have. Leads the EPL on interceptions and read the game better than most. Can't tackle for toffee and pulls out of anything painful. How odd that he is possibly the purest form of a genuine Wenger player but might be totally the wrong thing for the Premier League? What doyou do with a player like that? Save him only for Europe? What a dumb luxury!

We need to win and show that the players in hospital won't wreck our chances. Unlikely, but then we must believe.

Time to play flexi- percentage football. Please Arsenal be smart.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic

Tonight is going to be inconclusive in any way for Arsenal. However a quick point between snuffles.

If you have a duck to break, a record to achieve, a new manager in tow, a new striker with no goals, an appalling run of defeats etc etc, you can resolve it against Arsenal. Kevin Phillips was the latest and tonight it will be Zlatan Ibrahimovic for Barca. He will break his English hoodoo and so be it.

I predict a 2-2 draw tonight. Fun but useless for us. I also think our most effective player tonight will be Eboue. Bring the pain.

Ahhhtchoooo!

Ruminations

With Arsenal's draw coming on the same day as Man Utd and Chelsea making their mark, it would be obvious to write off our chances and suggest it is all a bridge too far. I am not yet sure about this. It seems obvious to point out that Man U and Chelsea have tough games to play and an easy run in etc. However, the more I think about it, the more I wonder whether I want Arsenal to win the league.

Odd as this might read, I feel it would be a falsehood to believe the quality Arsenal have, runs through the whole team. In Almunia, we have a keeper who is quite poor and lacks confidence as I have said before. He does not seem to have the consistency of a top keeper. His save against West Ham prompted Wenger to suggest that the Arsenal number 1 has silenced his critics. Is it possible to silence his critics with one save?

Does that mean that Franco's goal for West Ham against Wolves silenced his critics? Nope? Ok enough said.

Wenger is not the kind of manager to reinforce the side from a position of strength. If we were to win the league, I fear he would want to stick with that side and hope it grows. This is not what we want to see. We cannot afford to win the league just yet.

In terms of yesterday's game against Brum, how comes nobody is highlighting the lack of offside for their goal. Benitez was 2 yards offside and interfering with play. The Assistant Ref had a clear view and did nothing. This is a surprise as that is what he is paid to do.

Wenger lost his cool and swore in the press conference. I have to say that this is not a big deal. He is upset because Gardener reduced Fabergas' influence. But that is what the opposition have to do. I don't have a problem with how Brum played. They deserved something from the game that we couldn't close out. So be it.

Chelsea looked great yesterday. Their fluidity and composure was awesome. Man U picked Bolton off in a great fight. I have to give credit to Bolton too as they put up a fight but couldn't covert.

I have to add another point about West Ham. The quality that they have in the side has been overshadowed by the shot to their confidence. My question is, everyone has a poke at Zola, but when things were going well, people suggested it was down to the influence and experience of Steve Clarke. What is he doing now? How is he helping Zola who looks totally bereft of ideas and support? IS he going for the job himself? I feel the work being done by West Ham is not consistent. They don't play as a team and the likes of Diamanti, Mido, Cole and Franco just seem like an impossible mix of styles. They will go down. Hull will stay up.

I have a stinking cold so that's all for now.

A poem on Urban Yout.

A malignant cell
Stands awkwardly over an installation of
Fast food refuse, (nah man) – broken glass, drug wraps
And a not-so-soft dog shit
Which has been spray-painted gold. Bear jokes.

The cell screws his round face up
Into square windows, trying to lay claim
To more of the same.
He loiters in the disused garages
And by the retired lifts
Fingering his sword and wishing
It might be a pen so he can ‘spit’

“Fool I’m out for glory, so don’t ignore me
Da Swagga Don is known, to bruck manz bone.
I’ll take ya ring and I’ll take ya ‘fing’
Reppin’ to da end coz my endz is everyfing”

The ‘Don’ fights at nothing.
Tilting at windmills in the N15 spa.
Honouring his code, he knows his boundaries.
He represents paedophilia and domestic abuse,
National Front and benefit fraud.

Arching his neck and
Staring out the top deck, screw face at the back seats
He can’t ride the bus to the land of the unknown
‘Coz mans tell him he’s a soulja
A brand of clone, dressed in layers of words
He stashes his treasure at Gash Endz
She loves to hate, the same things as him.

Day in, night out he smokes and stares
With obsessive compulsion he recites his rhyme
Underpinning his values and self-affirming his name.
Short-term pleasure leads to a life of blame.
“Fuck you. Fuck them”
No one in history has ever mustered the vitriol
To claim,
I DON’T CARE...

Style prejudice

It appears that Tony Pulis and Sam Allardyce are drawing attention to themselves again. They seem to be suggesting through various channels of the media, that the deficiencies experienced by the like of Arsenal and Chelsea are blind-sided by Wenger, Ancelotti et al. Instead the managers of these so-called bigger clubs, use the chance to moan about how Blackburn, Stoke, Villa, Burnley etc play football.

The implication of these statements from the Stoke/Blackburn/Villa managers is that they want some kind of humility shown by Wenger and Ancelotti. They want praise for the way that Blackburn or Stoke played the game.

This is like McDonalds demanding that Gordon Ramsey compliments them on their ability to sell and serve food - the preparation, ingredients and balance of flavours is neither here nor there. It is the fact that they provide this and give it to humans to ingest, and remain almost alive on that they want praise for. In fact, why stop there? Maybe I should suggest that the food aid agencies also have a pop at Ramsey for the lack of appreciation in their culinary achievements?

Except this isn't about Ramsey, food aid and so on. The style of football played by these teams is one based on damage limitation followed by snatching a draw or even a win. They have strong defences but their attack is pedestrian and ugly. They have long throws and high kicks but their passing is dull, into space rather than to feet and like rugby, they will kick into touch to achieve, gain and pressurise a territorial advantage.

So my point is this: A person who was once slim and is now overweight, like myself, can look in the mirror and see glimpses of what used to be. An ugly person can get used to looking at themselves and draw comfort from recognition and knowing where bit of their face and body should be. Nothing takes away from the fact that judging yourself is a ridiculous and narcissistic activity - unless your intention is to be objective as opposed to embrace yourself.

Therefore, do Pulis and Allardyce want a date, flowers, violins and possibly a bunk up with Wenger etc? If not, stop demanding compliments because you cannot expect anyone outside your inner circle to call you sexy when you continue to do the equivalent of farting, scratching your balls and breathing savage morning breath in public. Gimps.

West Ham - top o' the league

And so it is. Arsenal are top of the league with a hard fought victory against a poor West Ham team.

What are West Ham? They have some decent players (some very decent players!), but they carry injuries and under perform so often. They are better than Birmingham and Fulham on paper, yet they cannot achieve a string of results to suggest this. So it must be bullshit.

Yet, they have quality but are dysfunctional. They have loyal fans but they sing defeatist songs. They didn't take their chances which lead Zola and Diamanti to have a 100 yard row in front of 60,000 people. It was like watching two midgets starting a break dancing challenge, through the wrong end of a telescope - and I sit near the pitch side/dugout. So much gesticulating, lurching, chin raising and head shaking. From what I could see, Zola was angry with Diamanti for not chasing down defenders and tracking back. The reply was the insistence that the ball should be played into the channels and not so close to the defenders. Either way, it is all part of the same process and they are both angry about West Ham not retaining the ball very well. The point of me writing this is to question how a player can shout back at the manager, in front of so many and not get substituted?

Vermaelen's sending off was weak. Refs can and should be more accountable. A website where they publish their own report and findings/reasoning for the game they have just covered could shed more light on how decisions are made and why. Who knows? It might even win over a few fans who don't really understand the multiple choices, variables and considerations taken into account in a short space of time.

Oh while I think of it, there are is a certain type of dullard fan at the Arse who cannot help themselves during a opposing substitution. "Replacing x,y,z" says the PA, "WHO?" shout the dullards, "Mark Noble" says the PA, "WHO???" bellow the dullards.

Piss off. It is the weakest, most dim intimidation tactic. Is the player meant to feel somewhat less of a footballer because some fools, question his name? Fuckwits.

Bendtner's substitution surprised many of us. Arshavin looked bored as usual and Fabregas didn't want to push too hard due to a recovering hamstring, so the choice of Diaby as Nik's replacement was odd. But it worked. Abou is turning into a player. He can dribble and penetrate. His passing could improve but some of us are starting to believe that Abou, Theo, Cesc, Samir, Alex, Nik, Denilson, are all 20-23 years old and getting better together. If they all stick together and improve at a similar rate, other teams will get run over.

Where am I going with this? Ah, Manuel Almuina. A good save on the pen. It motivates and inspires which is great. But 5 minutes before Campbell sliced a clearance out for a corner because he had no call. Campbell doesn't always follow the Wenger rules and berated Almunia for his lack of call. Now you are plainly not allowed to do this at Arsenal. It ruins the unity, psychology and spirit in the mind of Wenger. It leads to people getting booed and Almunia had an even more exaggerated look of a junkie having a shit in a doorway round the back of Oxford Street and being caught by the police.

Campbell may be trying to exempt himself from blame, but he's not afraid to put a rocket up some deserving recipients. The problem is that Wenger doesn't like it and will usually have to spend halftime cuddling Almunia and stroking his hair. So the save was vital.

Eboue is getting better and better. Clichy too - which is about time. Though he still has the knack of getting nutmegged by the shot cutting in from the right wing. Song could be the find of the decade soon. He just won't stop doing the ugly stuff but he can play a bit too. Again, I muse over what Flamini, Hleb, Diarra and others must be thinking. Their teams fall short.

Anyway, it seems that Arsenal have a chance. I have a funny feeling that Man U and Chelsea will both be held today. If Blackburn flood the midfield and Samba kicks Drogba, then Chelsea could fold. By all accounts, Torres and Gerrard have started to remember the definition of quality and Man U have been hiding behind Rooney all season. He has scored once in 11 games against Liverpool and might find this game a challenge. By Man U can also be glorious and know victory and success more than all other English teams combined. (Certainly in the modern game).

So who knows? Not I. But I am intrigued by the alignment of the planets when it comes to Arsenal's chase for the title. We have won games well, badly and averagely. That is the sign of a champion. How can this be?

Got in at 1am and I have a hangover. I had to get up at 7.30 to entertain the baby and I am rambling/tired.

Arsene Wenger's plan demands that we keep flying under the radar as everyone waits for the big guns to win the war. Chelsea, Man U and Barca don't worry me. Birmingham, Spurs and Wigan do more.