What have we learned from this World Cup so far? Firstly, we have been shown that 60 people can die in a train crash in Congo and it barely gets noticed. Bombs continue to go off in Iraq and soldiers continue to die in Afghanistan. Most strangely, the new government picked the day before England’s final group game to have the new budget announcements. The fixtures have been available for several months – so before anyone suggests a coincidence, I suggest not.
The World Cup is NEWS. It is also the suspension of reality for many – as if English adults and children alike can believe that Santa Claus really does exist and then have the carpet pulled from under their Reebok Classics. All of this makes for great stories to be exploited by the media, as the swathes of empathy seep through the veins of the nation with an accent less and orgasmic groan.
The headlines and lead stories on all platforms of the media funnel sports and real life on to the plate of café cooked inertia, so much so that a sausage is no longer that. Instead, problems and solutions are served up with so many options yet the main ingredients can never be disguised from being nauseating. Akin to the Monty Python’s spam sketch, we are left to believe that by shuffling the pack, we might come up with a new formation that will change the perception of our team from within and without. Forget what the public think, the players are too detached to know. Until the booing manages to drown out the vuvuzelas and the accent less groan fills and drowns the pubs, valleys and green, green grass of home. The public all tend to feel that this is not the best 23, but aside from the injured Ferdinand, who else would have been in with a shout? Joe Cole should get a game – but he should be used as a secret weapon rather than a beacon of hope and expectation. So it is too late for him to have a real impact. Theo Walcott? Please! Adam Johnson? Do me a favour. Michael Owen?
This Golden Generation has little to offer the hungry English public. As they trawl the pubs, bars, streets, promenades, off licences, supermarkets, churches?, newspapers, magazines, websites, talk radio stations and tv phone-ins, looking for clues and answers, they often forget to look at the real recipe for this shit. There they stand, be it at home or abroad, in their Nylon ¾ length tracksuit bottoms, sleeveless and perforated ‘sport’ t shirts, ped socks with slip-on trainers, baseball cap and optional ‘sport’ jumper (depending on the weather), mulling over the miles and miles of larger than life picture menus with broken, damp or mouldy corners, advertising the 11 types of plated shit being served to the English all around the world. And it sells remarkably well!
ITV and BBC are doing whatever they can do sanitise this shit based on punditry that can only be described as ‘the half time show’. A wise friend suggested that they should have real half time evaluation on the red button with people who want to suggest why teams are so dull, stifled, how they scored, where mistakes really were made, what the manager is doing wrong etc. The rest of us can watch Hansen and Townsend condoning and puffing, a toy bus touring parts of hell, the England backroom staff rehearsing their plans for half time to be shown at half time, so the public can imagine the scenarios of what might be happening at half time depending on how the first half has progressed. In saying this, one might speculate that the ‘beautiful game’ is an amazing cultural pageant that manages to engage the international community in a way that nothing else can. Or, one could say ‘fuck this ludicrous attempt to make a piece of shit memorable and enjoyable by spraying it gold and offering it to people to bite”.
It all depends on the result and the resulting reaction. Some people say that the English public are prone to over-reacting. Some people suggest that the squad are not up to standard and we have never replaced the ‘World Class’ indispensible players of the past. I say that there are cemeteries, old people’s homes, TV studios and pubs full of ‘indispensible’ footballers who have died in poverty, pimped themselves to the media, aged artificially from management and coaching. Past players have generally found that football gives and takes away in fits of euphoria and decline, glory and atrophy.
The diet needs feeding and the indispensible is soon dispensed with and replaced with a younger, over sponsored hype.
Here’s Gabby or Gabriel with the full story…
Wednesday, 23 June 2010
Sunday, 13 June 2010
Back to football
Paul Hayward writes a very interesting article in the Observer this morning. Worth reading as it sheds more light on my fears about poverty vs extravagance (from previous blog).
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/blog/2010/jun/13/world-cup-south-africa-paul-hayward
Having watched all the games so far, (thanks to an understanding if bemused wife), I am coming to terms with the systems being dominant in this tournament. A star player will be hard to come by. A couple of flashes might ensue, even a good game, but there is no Maradona, Zidane circa 98, Pele, Cruyff, etc.
So does this mean that the teams are improving? Certainly. They are better prepared than ever and fitter and more accustomed to the pressures of football. Does it also mean that so called star players are not quite what they are cracked up to be? Definitely. It is shocking and an abuse of our intelligence to suggest the figures thrown around by the teams and media who want to see some movement in the transfer market.
Here is an example:
James Milner £30 million demanded - £24 million offered. 2 passes, 2 fouls, yellow card, sent off, won nothing in his career.
Frank Ribery £50 million demanded, no one offered, signs a new contract with Bayern. A pile of weak and sightly soft shite.
Angel Di Maria - Benfica want £30 million and several teams are keen. Ineffective and lightweight.
Kaka - £60 million and couldn't get a game for Real Madrid.
Cesc Fabregas - aged 23, goals: many £29 million offered. No wonder Arsenal fans cannot stomach the name of Barcelona when each season they attempt to abuse us with their devaluations.
Yaya Toure - Aged 26, goals none, price demanded £30 million.
Yoann Gourcuff - just go away - let's not even bother with him.
Luis Suarez - As above. Pathetic and limp.
I could go on, but you probably get the point. And this is what Wenger sees when he looks at the market and watches prices inflate, just because he likes the look of a player, the price can inflate by 5-10 million.
The transfer system has always been about double standards and inflated prices, but now it also has the players demanding moves and not caring about what that can do to the club and the length of their contract. So in Fabregas' case, I am sad but I want him to piss off so I can get on with forgetting him. He is a wonderful player but he wants out of his contract 5 years early. Barcelona insist they will only pay what they think is reasonable. In my book that means he doesn't get his way and they don't get their player.
But an unhappy footballer is apparently a disease no club wants so Wenger is working very hard to broker a deal.
I am largely unimpressed. But Joe Cole will play like Fab without the constant rumours. We can build a team with a better keeper and defence that would challenge, even without Fabregas.
All of this is not dependent on the plight of our captain. If Wenger really is going to buy a whole new spine to the team, then he admits we fell short, he spends what is needed and we come back stronger. At least I hope that is the case.
As for England, where was Wayne Rooney? Why did Gerrard and Lampard start making errors at the same time? How can Ledley King be justified? Is Milner any good? Wright Phillips? Heskey?
When Joe Cole recovers from his bug, he will play. Hart should be in goal but Green will continue I think. England will still qualify and could even still do well.
But systems win out and we haven't quite got ours yet. We have a squad picked for a system but don't know our best starting XI. It will come I think.
Still, at least we aren't France.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/blog/2010/jun/13/world-cup-south-africa-paul-hayward
Having watched all the games so far, (thanks to an understanding if bemused wife), I am coming to terms with the systems being dominant in this tournament. A star player will be hard to come by. A couple of flashes might ensue, even a good game, but there is no Maradona, Zidane circa 98, Pele, Cruyff, etc.
So does this mean that the teams are improving? Certainly. They are better prepared than ever and fitter and more accustomed to the pressures of football. Does it also mean that so called star players are not quite what they are cracked up to be? Definitely. It is shocking and an abuse of our intelligence to suggest the figures thrown around by the teams and media who want to see some movement in the transfer market.
Here is an example:
James Milner £30 million demanded - £24 million offered. 2 passes, 2 fouls, yellow card, sent off, won nothing in his career.
Frank Ribery £50 million demanded, no one offered, signs a new contract with Bayern. A pile of weak and sightly soft shite.
Angel Di Maria - Benfica want £30 million and several teams are keen. Ineffective and lightweight.
Kaka - £60 million and couldn't get a game for Real Madrid.
Cesc Fabregas - aged 23, goals: many £29 million offered. No wonder Arsenal fans cannot stomach the name of Barcelona when each season they attempt to abuse us with their devaluations.
Yaya Toure - Aged 26, goals none, price demanded £30 million.
Yoann Gourcuff - just go away - let's not even bother with him.
Luis Suarez - As above. Pathetic and limp.
I could go on, but you probably get the point. And this is what Wenger sees when he looks at the market and watches prices inflate, just because he likes the look of a player, the price can inflate by 5-10 million.
The transfer system has always been about double standards and inflated prices, but now it also has the players demanding moves and not caring about what that can do to the club and the length of their contract. So in Fabregas' case, I am sad but I want him to piss off so I can get on with forgetting him. He is a wonderful player but he wants out of his contract 5 years early. Barcelona insist they will only pay what they think is reasonable. In my book that means he doesn't get his way and they don't get their player.
But an unhappy footballer is apparently a disease no club wants so Wenger is working very hard to broker a deal.
I am largely unimpressed. But Joe Cole will play like Fab without the constant rumours. We can build a team with a better keeper and defence that would challenge, even without Fabregas.
All of this is not dependent on the plight of our captain. If Wenger really is going to buy a whole new spine to the team, then he admits we fell short, he spends what is needed and we come back stronger. At least I hope that is the case.
As for England, where was Wayne Rooney? Why did Gerrard and Lampard start making errors at the same time? How can Ledley King be justified? Is Milner any good? Wright Phillips? Heskey?
When Joe Cole recovers from his bug, he will play. Hart should be in goal but Green will continue I think. England will still qualify and could even still do well.
But systems win out and we haven't quite got ours yet. We have a squad picked for a system but don't know our best starting XI. It will come I think.
Still, at least we aren't France.
Thursday, 10 June 2010
The World Cup
The World Cup starts tomorrow and I am very excited. But I feel guilty too.
On the one hand, there is a deluge of quality and meaningful football where virtually every result is crucial to each team. All of this, with some of the best players on Earth and some virtually unknown ones who are yet to be stars. There are managers pitting their wits and skills against each other who know that this is the time to shine, or fall on their sword. This is the run-in to the EPL and the knock out stages of the Champions League crammed into 4 weeks. But it is managed without the European predictability and money counts for nothing in this version of the game.
Which brings me to the guilty part and this is difficult to write (not because I feel bad, but because it is hard to avoid nonsensical waffle here).
FIFA is an organisation based on corruption, apathy, ambivalence and impossibly obtuse yet knee jerk rulings. They are the Taliban and the Suffragettes, the Republicans and the Hippies, Ladbrokes and the charity ‘Shelter’. In other words, they comprise of a hideous amalgam of departments and employees who are as conflicted and misguided as the BNP on a recruitment drive for ethnics minorities in their futile quest for legitimacy. It just doesn’t make any sense.
I don’t really want to go into reason why I feel this about FIFA. Suffice to say that they are exploitative leeches that bleed countries dry in the name of handing out the high-class drug of SOCCER. That being said, they are no different really to the IOC, or the FIA, or Simon Cowell.
What I am implying here is that the benefits that they claim to bring to a nation, a continent, the world – are so great, yet their benevolence is far from obvious. It is almost as if they give the globe the game of football and in return they want our money. And lots of it!
So why should I feel guilty? Mainly because the awarding of the tournament to the host nation is seen as a license to print money. This is all well and fine if you are Germany or France or the USA. It fits the capitalist mold and, if well managed, will bring a sizable wealth to the economies of those 'developed' countries/economies. But in awarding the tournament to South Africa, as if this country is to be taken seriously as a 'World Class' economy, this is crazy and blind. The one place the money needs to go is exactly where it will not go - to the poorest communities and most needy.
In an age of austerity and international unemployment, is the tourist industry of South Africa and the Southern African countries really going to benefit from 4 weeks of madness? An economy is relative to its surroundings. If hotels and bars put up their prices, then the servicers and providers to those industries will make sure they do as well. If this is the case, then where will the profit go?
In short, surely to the likes of Radisson, Coca Cola, Visa, Barclays, Shell, etc etc etc. Do we think for one minute that the South Africans will get a pay rise? Is there any guarantee that the large amount of temporary staff will have anything more than a 6 week contract? Will the money coming in, even touch the sides of the South African pockets who need it most? Will the tournament dramatically change the infrastructure of the country/economy in a way to raise it out of the clutches of poverty? Will it fuck.
The curse of the tournament (EG Olympics and Greece), is that unless you have a thriving economy, it is very difficult to balance and manage the demands placed by the inflation of demand on a very short and fixed timescale. It is impossible to tell where or how the demand will feature strongest and then you are left counting the cost of success vs failure. Failure usually wins.
If the poorest nations are meant to be thankful and use the good grace of the tournament to kick-start its economy, then maybe it would be worth these poorer nations reminding the developed world that there is no working engine in the shell of an antiquated motorbike of an economy that they are meant to be riding on to the New World of ‘Development’. Fuck that, fuck the meaning behind that, and fucking having to read that sentence again. It is shocking that we don’t even question this and spit at the sponsors and FIFA again and again.
But as with all things money, if you organise the layers carefully and spread the conglomerate wealth out using horizontal and vertical integration, (a means of deception and exhausting avenues) – then no one will really know who, how, where, when or what they are meant to complain about when they see oppression, poverty, human rights issues, awful working conditions and so on.
Football brings many people together but inadvertently, it also breeds collusion. Collusion with the National Front in the 70's, the racists, the marketers, the capitalists, the fascists, the fundamentalists, etc. So, do we accept the tournament for the beauty of the spectacle, or do we cynically turn away thus denying ourselves the enjoyment of one of sports’ greatest shows?
I will watch, I will drink coke probably too, but I hope by asking some questions, I am on the right path beyond collusion into bringing benefits to those who need them. I just don't really know how.
Football and money. What a drug cocktail?
On the one hand, there is a deluge of quality and meaningful football where virtually every result is crucial to each team. All of this, with some of the best players on Earth and some virtually unknown ones who are yet to be stars. There are managers pitting their wits and skills against each other who know that this is the time to shine, or fall on their sword. This is the run-in to the EPL and the knock out stages of the Champions League crammed into 4 weeks. But it is managed without the European predictability and money counts for nothing in this version of the game.
Which brings me to the guilty part and this is difficult to write (not because I feel bad, but because it is hard to avoid nonsensical waffle here).
FIFA is an organisation based on corruption, apathy, ambivalence and impossibly obtuse yet knee jerk rulings. They are the Taliban and the Suffragettes, the Republicans and the Hippies, Ladbrokes and the charity ‘Shelter’. In other words, they comprise of a hideous amalgam of departments and employees who are as conflicted and misguided as the BNP on a recruitment drive for ethnics minorities in their futile quest for legitimacy. It just doesn’t make any sense.
I don’t really want to go into reason why I feel this about FIFA. Suffice to say that they are exploitative leeches that bleed countries dry in the name of handing out the high-class drug of SOCCER. That being said, they are no different really to the IOC, or the FIA, or Simon Cowell.
What I am implying here is that the benefits that they claim to bring to a nation, a continent, the world – are so great, yet their benevolence is far from obvious. It is almost as if they give the globe the game of football and in return they want our money. And lots of it!
So why should I feel guilty? Mainly because the awarding of the tournament to the host nation is seen as a license to print money. This is all well and fine if you are Germany or France or the USA. It fits the capitalist mold and, if well managed, will bring a sizable wealth to the economies of those 'developed' countries/economies. But in awarding the tournament to South Africa, as if this country is to be taken seriously as a 'World Class' economy, this is crazy and blind. The one place the money needs to go is exactly where it will not go - to the poorest communities and most needy.
In an age of austerity and international unemployment, is the tourist industry of South Africa and the Southern African countries really going to benefit from 4 weeks of madness? An economy is relative to its surroundings. If hotels and bars put up their prices, then the servicers and providers to those industries will make sure they do as well. If this is the case, then where will the profit go?
In short, surely to the likes of Radisson, Coca Cola, Visa, Barclays, Shell, etc etc etc. Do we think for one minute that the South Africans will get a pay rise? Is there any guarantee that the large amount of temporary staff will have anything more than a 6 week contract? Will the money coming in, even touch the sides of the South African pockets who need it most? Will the tournament dramatically change the infrastructure of the country/economy in a way to raise it out of the clutches of poverty? Will it fuck.
The curse of the tournament (EG Olympics and Greece), is that unless you have a thriving economy, it is very difficult to balance and manage the demands placed by the inflation of demand on a very short and fixed timescale. It is impossible to tell where or how the demand will feature strongest and then you are left counting the cost of success vs failure. Failure usually wins.
If the poorest nations are meant to be thankful and use the good grace of the tournament to kick-start its economy, then maybe it would be worth these poorer nations reminding the developed world that there is no working engine in the shell of an antiquated motorbike of an economy that they are meant to be riding on to the New World of ‘Development’. Fuck that, fuck the meaning behind that, and fucking having to read that sentence again. It is shocking that we don’t even question this and spit at the sponsors and FIFA again and again.
But as with all things money, if you organise the layers carefully and spread the conglomerate wealth out using horizontal and vertical integration, (a means of deception and exhausting avenues) – then no one will really know who, how, where, when or what they are meant to complain about when they see oppression, poverty, human rights issues, awful working conditions and so on.
Football brings many people together but inadvertently, it also breeds collusion. Collusion with the National Front in the 70's, the racists, the marketers, the capitalists, the fascists, the fundamentalists, etc. So, do we accept the tournament for the beauty of the spectacle, or do we cynically turn away thus denying ourselves the enjoyment of one of sports’ greatest shows?
I will watch, I will drink coke probably too, but I hope by asking some questions, I am on the right path beyond collusion into bringing benefits to those who need them. I just don't really know how.
Football and money. What a drug cocktail?
Monday, 7 June 2010
The moment in Groundhog Day when...
the clock chimes 6.00am and Bill Murray awakes to find the same old thing.
Anyone who has seen the movie has probably wondered why he can't stay up until 6am, what would happen physically to his immediate environment if he were to be caught out in the snow and with a lady, or saving a life. Would everything rewind itself at the speed of light, or would it be slow enough to comprehend?
The reason I suggest this is that there is a point in the close season where logic and reason is replaced by blind hope and optimism. A plan and belief for success overtakes the glum reality or excess of the season past, and building on what was is the recipe for the future. Whether one supports Chelsea, Man U or Arsenal - or whether it be Hull, Swindon or even Barnet, you find yourself beginning to believe.
This is easier in a close season when there is no major tournament to cloud your hopes. Nonetheless, the almost unnoticeable and invisible transition into believing in better takes hold and you start to get suckered in. A new kit awaits, pre-season dates sound interesting and the fixture list will be announced soon. Then there is the excitement linked to potential and actual new signings to arouse the creative fluids. The new shape and form of your team playing in a new kit with a renewed spirit and drive for success.
All of this is fine, except I support Arsenal. Success according to our manager is 3rd or 4th place and I couldn't give a shit about a new kit. New signings will be unknown French or African players and our marquee players must be loved hard enough to be set free - with no potential replacement or compensation in sight. Our manager will use the Arsenal.com sex line to suggest all signings will be made before the World Cup and that no one will be leaving.
Delusional creativity with the truth. Like the controllers of the matchday highlights, refusing to show instant replays as if the action didn't happen.
Well I have no happy ending and I am no cynic. I just remember going a season unbeaten and saying to myself, 'remember this you twit as you will be craving improvements and further success'. This is karma.
What do you want? As a football fan and/or a person who hopes for a better future, what do you want? It makes sense to hope and it is the underpinning of all religion. So why not use the same principles in football? Except I am an atheist.
Like the old comedic quip about love and marriage... after enough years together, it is their non-stop breathing that you hate the most.
Arsenal need a fucking urgent face lift and boob job - as who wants to wake up with Andie Macdowell anyway? She's not worth it, nor is Cesc and if Wenger wants to keep making indie movies with the hope that another Blair Witch or Slumdog Millionaire is just a clapperboard of the fingers away, then he can piss off too.
I have matchsticks in my eyes as that 6.00am rolls closer. I will be all too ready to pounce and strangle the elfin Sky Sports spin doctors handing out ecstasy pills and trying to milk the World Cup as they hang the next Premier League race out to dry.
Before that we have a World Cup organised by a Governing Body who make the Afghan elections look fair. So the fight against all odds is designed to send us all running back to our first love - the beloved club side who just keep breathing and breathing.
Grrrr.
Anyone who has seen the movie has probably wondered why he can't stay up until 6am, what would happen physically to his immediate environment if he were to be caught out in the snow and with a lady, or saving a life. Would everything rewind itself at the speed of light, or would it be slow enough to comprehend?
The reason I suggest this is that there is a point in the close season where logic and reason is replaced by blind hope and optimism. A plan and belief for success overtakes the glum reality or excess of the season past, and building on what was is the recipe for the future. Whether one supports Chelsea, Man U or Arsenal - or whether it be Hull, Swindon or even Barnet, you find yourself beginning to believe.
This is easier in a close season when there is no major tournament to cloud your hopes. Nonetheless, the almost unnoticeable and invisible transition into believing in better takes hold and you start to get suckered in. A new kit awaits, pre-season dates sound interesting and the fixture list will be announced soon. Then there is the excitement linked to potential and actual new signings to arouse the creative fluids. The new shape and form of your team playing in a new kit with a renewed spirit and drive for success.
All of this is fine, except I support Arsenal. Success according to our manager is 3rd or 4th place and I couldn't give a shit about a new kit. New signings will be unknown French or African players and our marquee players must be loved hard enough to be set free - with no potential replacement or compensation in sight. Our manager will use the Arsenal.com sex line to suggest all signings will be made before the World Cup and that no one will be leaving.
Delusional creativity with the truth. Like the controllers of the matchday highlights, refusing to show instant replays as if the action didn't happen.
Well I have no happy ending and I am no cynic. I just remember going a season unbeaten and saying to myself, 'remember this you twit as you will be craving improvements and further success'. This is karma.
What do you want? As a football fan and/or a person who hopes for a better future, what do you want? It makes sense to hope and it is the underpinning of all religion. So why not use the same principles in football? Except I am an atheist.
Like the old comedic quip about love and marriage... after enough years together, it is their non-stop breathing that you hate the most.
Arsenal need a fucking urgent face lift and boob job - as who wants to wake up with Andie Macdowell anyway? She's not worth it, nor is Cesc and if Wenger wants to keep making indie movies with the hope that another Blair Witch or Slumdog Millionaire is just a clapperboard of the fingers away, then he can piss off too.
I have matchsticks in my eyes as that 6.00am rolls closer. I will be all too ready to pounce and strangle the elfin Sky Sports spin doctors handing out ecstasy pills and trying to milk the World Cup as they hang the next Premier League race out to dry.
Before that we have a World Cup organised by a Governing Body who make the Afghan elections look fair. So the fight against all odds is designed to send us all running back to our first love - the beloved club side who just keep breathing and breathing.
Grrrr.
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